


racer, chaser

by ongnielsbub (kingtatae)



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Fluff I guess??, M/M, kind of purple-prose-y tbh??, ooof, this is old, what even is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 21:29:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13935801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingtatae/pseuds/ongnielsbub
Summary: Daniel’s spent his whole life firmly rooted to the ground, looking up at a boy who’s shining bright amongst the stars.[a coming-of-age story]





	racer, chaser

Daniel’s never had a purpose, never had a dream—never had something to strive for. He’s passionless. Not like Seongwoo, though, not at all. Seongwoo is his total opposite, always staring starry-eyed out the window at something it seems that only he can see. Seongwoo has his whole life thought out, in that sort of chaotic, no plan at all sort of way, while Daniel has his whole boring life thought out down to a tee and sometimes he doubts Seongwoo’s presence in his future. But then Seongwoo turns his head and smiles at him, and he’s glowing brighter than he ever has and suddenly all Daniel _can_ see is Seongwoo.

“I want to see everything,” Seongwoo always says, “ _Everything,_ y’know.” And then Daniel will always say,

“That’s pretty much impossible, isn’t it, idiot?” He’ll flick Seongwoo’s forehead fondly, not hard enough so that it will hurt, and then he’ll reach over for another handful of popcorn as they turn back to the movie. Seongwoo will smile, tilt his head back and stare at the ceiling, where dozens of half-crumpled glowing star stickers gleam weakly in the dark.

“Yeah.” Seongwoo will whisper, but then he’ll smile. So, it’s not Daniel’s fault that he just can’t help getting swept away, get blinded by entire _galaxies_ that exist within Seongwoo’s eyes.

Daniel doesn’t exactly know how to describe Seongwoo, and the only words that ever come to mind are _cosmic, endless, incredible._ He’s a black depth, indecipherable, impenetrable yet filled with a wealth of gleaming stars that shine right on through his eyes. And Daniel can’t pull away.

He’s stuck by Seongwoo, through thick and thin, ever since they were preschoolers in a sandbox and Daniel threw sand down Seongwoo’s shirt and made him cry. He’s been captivated ever since, which is weird and stupid because it’s not like Seongwoo was an attractive crier or anything of the sort. Honestly, he was kind of ugly—all snotty and red-nosed and endlessly whiny—but that was it for Daniel. He’d sort of fallen, in that helpless four-year-old type of way, where all he ever talked about was his ‘Seongwoo-hyung’ his pretty, brilliant new best friend.

They’re in they’re senior year, in the last week of school, when Seongwoo’s sitting cross-legged on Daniel’s bed and he says,

“I want to see everything.” It’s the same pattern, but something is different. Seongwoo’s eyes are going dull.

“That sounds pretty much impossible,” Daniel says anyways, for old times’ sake.

“No.” Seongwoo whispers. “I don’t think it is.”

~

The next day, Seongwoo is gone. He leaves Daniel a note, of course he does, because _fourteen years_ of friendship only warrants a pathetic few words and not even a goodbye:

_I’m going to see everything. Everything._

Daniel feels betrayed, but doesn’t know why. After all, he’s always known that Seongwoo wasn’t going to be tied down, wasn’t going to go the normal route—he’s always flying sky high and reach towards the unknown. But still, Daniel lies awake, clutching the stupid note to his chest, staring up at the dozen crumpled star stickers and refuses to acknowledge his tears.

~

It takes a long time for Daniel to forget about Seongwoo. Well, not really forget, but more like… ignore his existence, maybe.

Maybe.

Daniel’s graduated college at the point, and has a job as the assistant for a sport’s doctor. Four years and still no word from Seongwoo. Daniel thinks he’s starting to let go. Starting to.

And then, it’s a decrepit Thursday and there’s nothing special about that day when Daniel is walking down the hallway of the clinic and he sees Seongwoo, hobbling along on a pair of crutches and he drops the clipboard he’s holding.

Daniel finds himself frozen. He can’t tell what he feels. A mixture of fear, anticipation and there’s anger and maybe rediscovered feelings of abandonment. His heart seems to have frozen in his chest, or maybe it speeds up, skips a beat, he can’t be too sure. He feels the sputter of his pulse, feels déjà vu overtake him and it’s like the world has narrowed and he can only see Seongwoo.

“Hi, Niel-ah,” a lopsided smile and… those eyes. They’re gleaming again.

“Seongwoo,” Daniel breathes, and then they’re rushing and then Seongwoo’s tripping and falling and Daniel wraps him up in his arms, curling his finger into Seongwoo’s shirt, and what do you know? Seongwoo smells the same, like sunshine and detergent and warmth.

Things change, though, after that.

Seongwoo moves into his apartment, makes fun of Daniel about not having a girlfriend.

“You’ve been gone for four years, Seongwoo.” Daniel’s rush of emotions has settled now, and all he can feel is something like a cold, hard shell of betrayal.

“I know. I wanted to see everything, Daniel. I travelled the world. I went to Milan, Paris, Venezuela, China, _everywhere._ It was incredible.” Seongwoo is starry eyed. Daniel just slams his fork down on the table, successfully losing his appetite.

“Well, good for you.” He says, and he doesn’t even know why he’s angry. It something other than Seongwoo not even bothering to say goodbye. He thinks that the pain he feels might be that Seongwoo was able to leave him behind at all. Able to leave him behind without even a second thought, so easily discarded in a past that Daniel _knows_ Seongwoo hates acknowledging because it was boring and stagnant and too easy.

But… this time around, Seongwoo stays. Seongwoo stays, eyes starry all over again and tells Daniel about the world and Daniel sees the cosmos in Seongwoo.

He stays for three months.

But as the end of those precious three months draw near, Daniel sees the way Seongwoo’s eyes dull and then he just knows. Seongwoo is a million miles away already, and it’s no use pulling him back because Daniel is rooted to the ground and he can’t ever reach Seongwoo—not ever.

And Daniel is not surprised in the least when he comes home from work and Seongwoo is gone—no sign of him save for a crumpled note (another one, Daniel snorts) and it says: _Everything is not enough._ Daniel curses Seongwoo’s greed because what kind of asshole just ups and leaves with the four words ‘everything is not enough’? But then Daniel just takes a deep breath and tells himself,

‘Get over it.’

So, he does.

Somehow, through the years, this awful cycle repeats itself another two times—in shorter intervals, though, now. Seongwoo comes back, three years from the four, and then one from the three.

His eyes are getting dark, Daniel thinks, darker with the longer he’s been away. The stars cloud over until Daniel isn’t sure if there were ever entire universes blooming in Seongwoo’s eyes.

Until one night Seongwoo shows up, drenched from the rain and a pathetic smile on his face, wry and crooked and just a touch defeated. Daniel doesn’t say a word and just opens the door, hands him a change of clothes and points him towards the shower and then the bed.

This time around, Seongwoo stays. For good.

~

“What happened to seeing everything?” Daniel says, one night, when they’re sitting on the couch and watching some stupid American rom-com. Seongwoo smiles, and this time, he’s looking right at Daniel. At Daniel. Not some far off place that only he can see—but he’s there. _He’s present._ He’s descended from the sky, feet on the ground, with the universe he’s seen bottled up inside him, and he’s at Daniel’s side and he’s here to _stay_.

To be honest, Daniel isn’t quite sure what to do with that information, but it fills him with a sort of giddiness that he hasn’t felt in years, not since they were high schoolers and Seongwoo was lying by his side playing with the crumpled plastic of the stars stuck to Daniel’s walls.

“As it turns out,” Seongwoo glances at Daniel out of the corner of his eyes, with a soft, shy smile. “I don’t need everything, after all.” He reaches over and squeezes Daniel’s hand, fingers warm and calloused and greasy with popcorn butter.

( _The stars burst into light and then there are the cosmos again, dark and swirling and beautiful.)_

So everything is all right again, because Seongwoo is _here._ He's home. (And that's all that really matters.)

**Author's Note:**

> uwu i hope you enjoyed!! come find me on twitter and/or curiouscat @ongnielsbub !!! I Love Comments :')


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